You know why Turtle Wax is so expensive?  It’s because turtles have such tiny ears.
 
Good Morning and welcome to this week’s edition of INSPIRATIONAL TIDBITS. We’re having that weather where it becomes very clear where people are from.  There are the Florida Natives (“It’s FREEZING”!), the Northerners (“Gee, this is nice and cool for a change”), and the Northerners that all of the “North” has worn off already (see “Florida Native” quote).  Well, the cold has made us frisky today, so here’s another edition of that demented theme called “Children’s Books You’ll Never See”.  Hope some of you are offended, that’s the point.

"You Are Different and That's Bad"
"Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence"
 
"These are Mommy's Happy Pills"

"Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will" 

"Your Nightmares Are Real" 
 
"Pop! Goes the Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games"

"The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead"

"Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear”
 
I’m not sure if this one’s a joke – in this day and age, it’s probably really out there somewhere:
 
"Dad's New Wife Robert"
 
I feel like I need to clarify this once in a while – the BRAINSQUEEZERS don’t really squeeze your brain, it’s more like a soothing massage – rather refreshing.  So if that fear has been holding you back, be bold and take a chance. 
 
1.  Recent Poll:  Which of these do Americans pay most attention to news stories about?  ( sports; politics; health )
 
2.  Capsaicin - the stuff that makes Chile peppers (and my hot sauces) hot - is best neutralized by ( orange juice; beer; milk )
 
3.  About how many lakes are there in Lake County? ( 275; 950; 1400 ) 
 
4.  What is called "The Royal Game"?  ( Chess; Polo; Backgammon )
 
5.  Which one of these dwarves in "Snow White" did not speak?  ( Bashful; Dopey; Doc )
 
TIEBREAKER:  The McDonald's Big Mac slogan ("two all beef patties, special sauce..", etc) originated In what year? 1975
 
OBSCURE EXTRA BONUS QUESTION:  What is the most abundant metal in the Earth's crust?  Aluminum
 
                 MJB