Instructions on a fire extinguisher
 
Good Morning and welcome to this week’s edition of INSPIRATIONAL TIDBITS.  It’s that time of year when the tourism people just die to have people come to Florida in the middle of their ghastly winters, to enjoy our sunny, balmy days and spend lots of money.  Everybody who has been here long enough to take this gorgeous weather for granted please raise your hands…..  As for today’s meat & potatoes, we’re doing some more of our favorite telephone answering machine messages, an infrequent but wildly popular feature in the ‘bits.
 
“Hello.  You know what to do, and you know when to do it”
 
“Hello, Starship Enterprise, Uhura here – can you hold please”?
 
“I’m probably home, but just avoiding someone.  If I don’t call back, it’s you”
 
“Don’t talk, just listen. Meet me at the corner of Broad and Main, and bring the girl”
 
“My sixth sense allows me to know who you are, what you want, and how to reach you.  So at the tone, just hang up”
 
“These words are lovely, dark and deep, but I’ve got promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep - so leave a message at the beep”
 
This one might make them think twice about calling back:
 
“Hi. Do you ever feel your head is full of, like, sand?  Not your regular loose sand, mind you, but compacted sand, and there were like, I don’t know, bugs or something jumping up and down on the compacted sand?  And then, you know, a wave comes and washes them all away?  No?  Well, sometimes I do”
 
Go for it today. These are “equal opportunity” BRAINSQUEEZERS, and everybody has a chance to win (if you enter, of course).  Just block out of your mind that everybody also has a chance to get completely skunked, too.
 
1. Spain literally means “The land of ( olives; rabbits; rocks )
 
2. What animal is on the label of a Bacardi Rum bottle? ( owl; armadillo; bat ) 
 
3. The first time the word “Hell” was spoken on TV was on ( Ed Sullivan; Star Trek; All In The Family ) 
 
4. The Emmy award used to be called the ( Immy; Ike; McManus )
 
5. Which is the heaviest dog?  ( Irish Wolfhound; Great Dane; St. Bernard )
 
TIEBREAKER:  According to the 2000 US Census, how many states have over 10 million people?  Seven
 
OBSCURE EXTRA BONUS QUESTION:  On Sesame Street, what is the name of Oscar the Grouch’s pet worm?  Slimey
 
No tie for a change, and it wasn’t even close.  It was JODI who took the honors today, getting all 5 right.  Left-Coast James came in second with three.  The tiebreaker wasn’t a factor today, but we had a wide range of answers – from 4 to 50. Interestingly enough, most of those who got the obscure question right - Jodi, Stephen and Brian - all have little kids (but I’ll bet they all would watch Sesame Street by themselves anyway).  Teddy guessed Slimmy, so I guess we’ll have to give him a nod as well.  No skunks AGAIN today (a few onesey’s, though) – you all must be getting smarter.  Congrats to Jodi on the win; enjoy the weather and we’ll see you all next time.

MJB